reflections on unexpected change
Late in March, I had chosen my theme for both the Apri A to Z blogging challenge and the Ultimate Blogging Challenge, also scheduled for April. I was planning on going on lots of walks and taking lots of photographs, which I would then share. But I was unable to follow through for several reasons:
- it got cold and snowed (that’s just rude, really)
- the wind got strong and howly, which made walking feel far from fun
- then, to add to the entertainment value, I caught COVID-19, turned into Toxic Tina, and had to quarantine.
I was spending much more time at home than I had anticipated. Which made it hard for me to take photographs. My apartment looks the same all of the time. It’s not interesting enough to photograph ad infinitum. Nevertheless, I still needed images. How was I going to generate images when all I really wanted to do was to sleep? I thought about that, but not for long because I kept falling into a deep sleep. I was thoroughly exhausted, which, apparently, is a symptom of COVID-19. Fortunately, I didn’t combine exhaustion with insomnia so, when I lay down for a nap or for the night, I was off to dreamland (or nightmareland) for the duration.
And poems. I wrote poems. All about imagery but not as many words as prose. I was still sleepy, even after several days, but I could see how my blog was changing and adapting. Or maybe, how I was changing and adapting. I did not fulfill my original goal for my blog, but I adjusted and let my blog lead the way. I took the twists and turns and felt the feels and experienced the experiences. Because my blog has always been spontaneous, I could change its direction if necessary.
“Sometimes life goes in a direction not of our choosing. That’s why we need to adapt. It’s never too late to change direction… [Gamache] knew the young minister was wrong, sometimes it was too late.”
“ Louise Penny, Bury Your Dead
… And am happy with the direction that my blog took me on. I didn’t know that I had all of that poetry inside of me. I also never imagined that I would create modernistic art, just for the sake of it. Just for the sake of shapes and colors and an imagination that stayed healthier than my body. Life plays tricks on you like that.
The blogging challenges have ended, but the art challenges continue. Check back in a few days to see what I do next with my very fun gouache paints!!!