Today, I thought that I would offer you the first stop on a tour of the United States, via the stupidest laws that I could find online. And what’s even funnier is that these laws are actually still on the books, although I don’t know how many of them can possibly be enforced. Today’s stupid laws have to do with automobiles. (Future themes will include “fashion police,” animals, and food.)
Well, some idiotic laws actually make sense. How about this one? “It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a motor vehicle.” (Yes, kidnappers should do the driving after blindfolding their victims.)
In Anchorage, it is illegal to tie your pet dog to the roof of your car.
It is against the law for women to drive while attired in a house coat. And not only that, no vehicle that lacks a driver (ejected for wearing the aforementioned banned house coat) may go faster than 60 miles per hour.
In Alamosa, it is illegal to throw missiles at cars (apparently, it’s legal in the rest of the state).
Well, this isn’t quite a car, but it is applies to vehicles so… In New Britain, Connecticut, it is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25 miles per hour, even when going to a fire. (let’s hope that the fire burns as slowly as the fire trucks are driven)
In Rehoboth Beach, it is illegal for people to change their clothes in a car (but you can wear a house coat).
You may not place coins in your vehicle. Also, it is illegal to sit on the back seat of a car without wearing a seat belt, but, if you ride on the bed of a pickup truck, you are not required to use any safety equipment whatsoever.
You must contact the police if you plan on entering the (unspecified) city in an automobile.
Using a dead person’s license plate or handicapped parking sign is a crime.
Motorists have to be able to see pedestrians crossing the highway at night. Therefore, the pedestrians are required to wear tail lights (that’s a fashion statement!).
In Rockville, it is against the law to swear while on the highway.
Taxi drivers are not permitted to make love on the front seat of their cabs while they are working.
Selling cars on Sunday is against the law.
It is against the law for red cars to drive down Lake Street in Minneapolis. And in Minnetonka, truck drivers are prohibited from driving while their vehicles are sporting dirty tires.
Slow down! Speeding is illegal!
When you are driving on one of the state’s (nonexistent) mountains, make sure that you drive carefully at the right hand edge of the road, or you could go over a (not-real) cliff (or get a ticket if the cop actually finds that imaginary mountain).
It is illegal to drive quietly, especially if you’re going to pass other cars, pedestrians, bicyclists, etc. You must warn others on a highway that you are going to pass them. And, if you pass bicyclists, pedestrians, skaters, and skateboarders, it is considered to be good form to scare the wits out of them by honking your horn.
You have to honk your horn when passing other cars. There is no requirement to terrify bicyclists, pedestrians, skaters, and skateboarders, however.
It is illegal to read a comic book while driving a car.
Oregon has all sorts of silly laws concerning operating cars. Drivers have to remember lots of stuff. First off, they are not allowed to test their physical endurance while driving a car (leave your weights at home). It is illegal to carry a baby on the running board of a car. And, for heaven’s sake, do not pump your own gas (you’ll probably trip over the baby that is napping on the running board). And finally, it is illegal to keep a car door open for longer than necessary (however long that is).
If you are driving down the road and you see a team of horses coming in your direction, you are required to pull off of the road and cover your car with a blanket or some other covering that blends in with the environment, and let the team of horses pass.
In Scituate, it is illegal to drive down any street, carrying beer in your vehicle, even if it hasn’t been opened.
Do not do a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection.
In Prince William County, it is illegal to park on railroad tracks.