Today’s blogging challenge is to share content that evokes emotions. Well, there is definitely a huge range of emotions that could be evoked, especially now, during a worldwide crisis. A time like this is when we need to remember that this, too, will pass. Also, that distractions are definitely welcome during a very difficult time. Because we are all feeling a great deal of stress, it’s important to look for stress relief. According to the Mayo Clinic, laughter is a great stress reliever. There are actual scientific studies that prove that laughter is good medicine. Here is a link to a Mayo Clinic article that explains the benefits of laughter: Click me! I’m a link to laughter is medicine that doesn’t taste bad article.
All right. Got it? Laughter is great for your physical and mental health. So… how about a few jokes? Well, but first, I need to offer a disclaimer or two. Not everyone’s sense of humor is the same. So you might find yourself groaning or rolling your eyes, instead of laughing. Or you might not get the joke. Or you might laugh until your sides hurt. Any reaction is fine! Fortunately, this is the internet, and it is literally impossible for you to throw tomatoes at me. I don’t get the whole concept of tomato throwing, however. Why waste perfectly good tomatoes on a few bad jokes? Just wait for the bad reviews to come out and save the tomatoes for your salad! Anyway, I digress (my best skill, lol). Disclaimer number two: the animal pictures are random and have nothing to do with the stories!
Here’s the first:
There was this guy who went to the bar, bringing his dog with him.
“My dog can talk,” said the guy to the bartender. “If I can prove that the dog can talk, can I get a free drink?”
“Yeah, sure,” said the skeptical bartender.
“What’s on top of this building?” the guy asked the dog.
“Roof, roof, roof,” said the dog.
“Any dog can say roof, roof, roof,” said the bartender. “Get out of here.”
The next day, the guy returned to the bar with the dog. The bartender shook his head.
“Really,” the guy insisted. “This dog can talk. And I’m ready for my free drink.”
“Yeah, whatever. Okay, make your dog talk.”
“What kind of vegetable is a carrot?” the guy asked his dog.
The dog said, “Root, root, root.”
“Any dog can say root, root, root. Get out of here,” the bartender said with more vehemence than was necessary.
On the third day, the bartender pre-emptively told the guy that, unless the dog showed some real signs of talking, not only was he not getting a free drink, he and the dog would be thrown bodily from the bar.
“Oh, you won’t be disappointed. My dog is very smart. He is good at talking.”
“I know that YOU can talk. Make the dog talk or you’re history!”
“Who was the greatest baseball player in history?”
The dog thought for a moment and then looked at its human and said, “Ruth, Ruth, Ruth.”
The bartender shouted at the top of his lungs, “ANY DOG CAN SAY RUTH, RUTH, RUTH! THAT’S IT! YOU’RE OUTTA HERE! NEVER COME BACK AGAIN!” And with that, the man and the dog were thrown bodily from the bar.
After the two of them got up and walked halfway down the street, the dog turned to the human and said, “Do you suppose that I should have said DiMaggio?”
A guy named George woke up one day, only to discover that his dog had passed away during the night. The guy couldn’t believe that his dog was really dead so he took the dog to the vet. The vet examined the dog and said, “Your dog is dead.”
“No,” said George. “I don’t believe you. I want a second opinion.”
“Fine,” said the vet. He went to another room and came back with a cat. The cat sniffed the dog and meowed at the vet. The cat then trotted away.
“I am sorry,” said the vet. “Your dog is most definitely dead.”
George repeated, “I just don’t believe you at all. I want yet another opinion.”
“All right,” said the vet. He walked into another room and returned with a Labrador retriever. The Labrador retriever sniffed the dog and barked before trotting away.
“The dog is dead,” said the vet.
George shook his head as he accepted the diagnosis.
“May I have the bill, please?”
“The bill is for $650,” said the vet.
“Wait! That is highly excessive. Why so much?” George demanded.
“Well, I would have charged you $50 for the original diagnosis. The additional $600 is for the cat scan and the lab test.”
A brief question and answer session:
Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog
Q: What happens if it rains cat and dogs?
A: You can step in a poodle.
Q: What kind of market does a dog avoid?
A: The flea market
Q: What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
A: Well, doggone!