So….. I was going to post the winner of the name the bear contest on February 17th, but time has this wonderful or maybe awful way of escaping from me. Well, so it’s February 25th. The bear was making a speech about STILL not having a name.
“That’s not nice,” said the Anonymous Bear. “You have a name, while I am just Anonymous Bear.”
“All right,” I said. “You win. I will give you a name. But you are the one who has to choose because I can’t decide.”
The bear rolled his eyes and looked at me in a way that I can only describe as presenting an attitude. It sighed and mumbled something that I kind of heard, even though I didn’t understand.
“Speak up,” I said. “I ain’t as young as I used to be.”
“And you never say ‘ain’t.’ What’s with that?”
“I’m trying to expand my horizons by changing up my communication style.”
“That is absurd. It sounds fake. Well, am I going to have a name or not?”
“Choose one,” I said. “You have the power to stop being anonymous. I bestow the power on you.”
“First, paint my portrait,” demanded the bear.
“Would you be satisfied with a colored pencil drawing?”
“Whatever,” said the bear, who started posing as if he were a rock star. Except without any sort of musical instrument. So, maybe not a rock star. Nah, rock star. A rock star bear is a good thing and there could be more stories about a rock star bear.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” I blurted out abruptly.
“You’re easily distracted. Just draw. I want to see my portrait,” demanded the bear, rather crossly. I stopped talking and resumed drawing. After all, who am I to disobey the commands of a rather bossy bear? After finishing the portrait, I then told the bear that he was posing like a rock star. Therefore, he is now a rock star.
“A rock star? I like it,” said the bear, who still didn’t have a name. That motivated the bear to start singing Jon Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.” In fact, he didn’t just sing it; he belted it out with great gusto and energy. It was the greatest thing. I thought about entering the bear into American Idol or The Voice, but he was reading my mind and abruptly announced that he wasn’t ready for prime time.
“All right,” I said. “Will you be ready to be the Bear version of Jon Bon Jovi when you have a name? I need someone to support me in the style to which I’d like to become accustomed.”
“Maybe. I’ve chosen a name, even if I want to keep my rock star status private.”
“And your name is?”
“I expect a drum roll. I’m a rock star. How can I make an announcement without a drum roll?”
Since I don’t actually own drumsticks, I picked up two pencils and did a drum roll on a table. Well, I also don’t own a drum so the table was as good as it got.
“My new name is…” the bear shot me a look.
Second two pencils on table “drum roll.”
“Oh, and there are other bears who need names. I will tell you which one is going to be Nanook, which one will be Branwyn, and which one will be Bonnie Bruin. I liked all of those names, but I can only have one name or you will be confused.”
“Even more excellent!”
Congratulations to Martha DeMeo and Lia for choosing the name for this bear. And thank you to Jeanine Byers and her son for Branwyn, Melissa Brown for Nanook, and Jean for Bonnie Bruin.