My anti-bucket list: things that I hope never, ever, ever to do

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Today, it’s cold and snowy, so I stayed inside to do inside stuff. I have finally finished writing my newsletter, which I hope to have reproduced by next Wednesday.

It is time for a little bit of fun. I know that we all think about our bucket lists: What do we want to do before we kick the bucket? So here is a little twist on it. What do you hope NOT to do before you kick the bucket? If you choose to make your list, think outside of the bucket. Have fun and pick some really wild stuff that sounds supremely unpleasant for your anti-bucket list.

Here is my (probably incomplete) anti-bucket list of things that I hope never, ever, ever to do:

  • “Celebrate” New Year’s Eve in the middle of a noisy crowd outdoors when the temperature is well below freezing.
  • Climb a water tower and be unable to come down.
  • Eat a plateful of my least favorite foods and ask for seconds.
  • Get bitten by a vampire.
  • kiss a spider.
  • Sleep on a bed of nails.
  • Dance on hot coals.
  • Paint my teeth purple.
  • Ride a horse in my birthday suit (I’m not exactly Lady Godiva).
  • Let a boa constrictor hug me.
  • Swim in the icy river in January (I don’t think that I am up for a polar bear plunge).
  • Grow my fingernails until they are eight inches long and curly.
  • Get contact lenses in two different colors (OK, that might actually be tempting).
  • Let a bull chase me.
  • Eat a toadstool.
  • Eat anything else that is most likely poisonous.
  • Sing 1,000 bottles of beer on the wall, all of the way to the end.

  • Ride on a roller coaster or a fast spinning amusement park ride (once was more than enough for someone who gets motion sickness readily).
  • Dangle high in the air from a ladder that’s hanging out of a helicopter.
  • Jump out of an airplane (although I might actually be crazy enough to do a tandem jump).
  • Sing a coloratura soprano aria for an audience (nope, think I will stick with singing second soprano! When I attempt to sing those high coloratura notes, I sound like a cat in heat). 
  • Drive 100 miles per hour! (no race cars for me!)
  • Enter a hot dog eating contest
  • Enter a chicken wing eating contest
  • Enter any contest that requires you to eat massive quantities of anything at top speed without choking (or with choking).
  • Run for president.
  • Lift barbells that weigh more than me.
  • Jump off of a cliff into water.
  • Do any kind of acrobatics (I am old and I like being rightside up, instead of upside down).
OK, your turn: In the comment section below, please write some things that might be on your anti bucket list. Have fun and be wild!

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1 thought on “My anti-bucket list: things that I hope never, ever, ever to do”

  1. Kristina

    I agree with most of your list but I like snakes and think it might be fun to hang or jump out of an airplane. I would add:

    – Clean houses for a living
    – Work as a garbage collector
    – Camp out in the jungle
    – Run for a political position
    – Deliver tragic news to people
    – swing from a trapeze or walk a tightrope
    – Amen to the eating or drinking contests – ugh
    – Be on a reality show where you have to do challenges (eat bugs, etc.) or live outside naked or on your own wits.
    – Be buried alive or suspended in ice and required to escape
    – Hunt for my own food in the woods
    – Have or adopt 8 children
    – Try out bizarre sex practices involving pain or bestiality

    Okay, I think I've taken it to the limit with that one! Thanks, that was fun.

    Reply

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