learning to joyfully express myself through art

When I was fifteen years old, I decided that I had no talent for art. Which was actually very late for a kid to make that decision. Generally, kids see the gap between what they are doing and what they feel they should be doing between the ages of nine and eleven. According to an article in Micador’s website, children are experiencing a developmental crisis between those ages. It’s a very well-documented crisis that results in the very common belief that “I can’t draw. I have no imagination.” Here is a link to the article: https://micador.com.au/blogs/news/why-kids-stop-drawing-at-10-and-how-to-keep-them-creating?srsltid=AU7gw4V4Pm5Eix74n_1mYZLI2TOOU9ZfKaY9bb5GxSVNFwTeps0n9k9m

My dad experienced a similar developmental crisis when he was told by a teacher, “You can’t sing.” It wasn’t true, but my dad believed that it was true, and it was that belief that resulted in his being unable to sing. Without a doubt, he was physically capable of singing. My mother once heard him singing in his sleep and described him as having a lovely light tenor voice. I wish that I could have heard my dad singing in that voice that he didn’t know he had.

But, back to the art. At the age of fifteen, I decided that I had no talent for art. I could not draw or paint realistically. My artwork was not matching the image in my head of what artwork should be like. As a result, I refused to take art classes. I still doodled, but that was it. Pretty much, I was done.

Maybe another fifteen or so years passed. Art was not part of my life, other than the occasional doodle. My mother started nagging at me to take an art class. I told her no, I had no talent. It would be a waste of time. My mother, however, was not taking no for an answer. The nagging continued. She was relentless. Finally, I said, “If I take an art class, will you stop nagging?” She agreed.

I signed up for an art class. I said to myself, “Self, you have no talent, so don’t even worry about the final result. It’s going to be awful. Why don’t you just have fun and enjoy the process of making a Bad Painting?”

What I didn’t realize was that I had discovered the concept of Process Art, which focuses on the act of creating art, as opposed to the completed product. I had discovered it by accident, and it worked. I was relaxed and happy because my goal was to have fun, not to create a masterpiece. When I finished my first charcoal picture in that class, I looked at it and I said, “I did that? It’s actually good!”

I could hardly believe my eyes. Somehow, I had gotten the perspective and the shading right. I wasn’t focused on technical skills. I was focused on joy and on the experience.

Years have passed, and I am still focused on the joy and on the experience. I actually learned about the concept of process art just about four or so years ago when I started taking classes at the Orange Poppy Art Studio here in Grand Island, New York. They are a process art studio that offers a variety of classes for children and adults. When I go there, I feel the joy of creating, without the stress of trying to be perfect.

I can’t imagine giving up art again. I am so grateful to my mother for her insistence that I explore that side of myself. Truly, it is a gift that keeps giving.