I is for insistence

When I was a kid, the highest praise I could possibly be given by my dad was that I was “perincon.” If you were perincon, you knew what you wanted and you had an idea of how to make that a reality. You were persistent, consistent, and insistent all at the same time. I feel positive now that, if I had really had complete pericon traits, my dad would have found me to be annoying. I could imagine this exchange.

“Go to bed.”

“Not yet. I’m busy reading a book.”

“It’s time for bed.”

“No, it’s reading time.”

(and on and on. The conversation isn’t going anywhere because I, the kid, am persistently refusing to go to bed. I am insisting on my book, and I am consistent in saying no.)

Well, speaking about perincon, I am once again writing my blog post late at night. I persist in staying awake long enough to write my blog post. I insist that I not skip a day of blog post writing. And I am consistent in posting late at night. Today, the thing that I am insistent on posting are eight images that represent the week that I had, starting last Wednesday. I’m really only being insistent because the random word generator chose the word “insistence” for me to write about today.

On Wednesday, April 3rd, I went to the Grand Island Memorial Library to hear astronomer Paul Moretti talk about all things eclipse. He gave me some new vocabulary to think about, which included hybrid eclipse, perigee (the super moon), apogee (the micro moon), umbra, penumbra, and Baily beads. He was very enthusiastic about the solar eclipse. In the picture above, he is explaining a lunar eclipse, when the sun passes in front of the full moon, blocking it from sight. I knew that my week’s project would be the eclipse and I was determined to learn as much as possible about it.

On Thursday, April 4th, I went to a meeting of the Grand Island Historical Society at River Lea in Beaver Island State Park. I was happy to be there because, at that point, I was still planning on watching the eclipse at Beaver Island State Park. I was going to sit on my outdoor chair (the one that has the best feature in the world, otherwise known as a cup holder) with a blanket on my lap, and that’s where I intended to watch the sun vanish behind the moon. But that was still days away. On that day, at the meeting, the presentation offered was about historic restaurants in Buffalo. It was fascinating and the menus made my mouth water. I love food. I am perincon in my love of cup holders and food (I’ve had too many accidents with spilled beverages when I sat outside on a chair that, tragically, lacked a…. (gasp!) cup holder! And then, I had to eat my food without the benefit of a beverage.)

Betty Bear was the guest blogger on Friday, April 5th. She did a great job, and she’s been back once with another story. She is looking forward to sharing more stories with you. Her uncle Bearnacle Bear is the bear with the best perincon traits. He is persistent, insistent and consistent in his desire to see the world by traveling the seas in a sailing ship, either great or small.

On Saturday, April 6th, I just wanted to create patterns on a page. They were more like doodle patterns. During the years when I thought that I couldn’t draw, I still doodled. I doodled through meetings. I doodled through classes. I doodled for the sake of doodling. I doodled because I didn’t know that doodling was drawing. I was always drawing. I just didn’t know it. I set limits on myself and, without realizing it, I broke my limits. Since then, I’ve been working on letting myself explore the possibilities, instead of setting limits. Sometimes, I forget that, and I try setting limits. I haven’t reached the perincon level, but it could happen.

On Sunday, April 7th, my mind and my heart were back in the sky. I thought about making an image of a somewhat less than scientific eclipse. My goal was to create an image that reflected my imagination, as opposed to reality. Oddly enough, my sun and moon look like they’re in love. And then, I wonder, is it like a soap opera with a love triangle? After all, when the cow jumps over the moon, isn’t she trying to entice the moon away from the sun? Is the cow a relationship breaker! Why do I suspect that, one day in the who-knows-when future, this could be a story.

On Eclipse Day, April 8th, I discovered that I am a… ghost… oh, wait… a poltergeist because I move things around. Oh, the plot thickens… in a perincon sort of way…

On Tuesday, April 9th, I was busy with newspaper writing and with sorting through the experience. I realized that I truly had been perincon in pursuing this bucket list item. I got the opportunity to take a day trip to have a life-changing experience. The beauty of the moon moving in front of the sun was beyond amazing. I felt a sense of peace and of wonder as I watched the events unfold just one day earlier. And, even better, it was a shared experience. So many people watched from different locations as the day temporarily vanished into night.

On Wednesday, April 10th, I went back to doodling, to creating patterns and incomplete images with alcohol ink markers on manga paper. I am working on letting go of the negativity of “I can’t draw” in a way that’s more perincon. Because if I am persistent, insistent, and consistent that yes, I am enough as I am and yes, I really can do things that I once thought were beyond me, I will be better equipped to find the joy in life. The joy that was there in the sky on eclipse day. The joy that always feels just a little bit out of reach. The joy that comes when you least expect it, like when the moon dances across the sky, laughing gleefully at the sun. I hope that’s the joy that you, too, find. And remember that you are enough, just as you are, whether or not your embrace your inner perincon.