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| Note: This month, I am doing a blogging challenge called “NaBloPoMo.” Well, that’s not going to trip off of the tongue because I’m not sure that I can pronounce it. But, anyway, I am doing it. The main requirement is to write a new blog post every day. To facilitate the daily blogging, the organizers (“blogher”) offer writing prompts. They are, of course, optional.
Today’s writing prompt is: “Which fall show should be totally canceled already?” Unfortunately, I really haven’t been watching much television so I am unfamiliar with much of the new programming. I did watch the presidential debates, however. I’ve also watched the two major party candidates and their supporters on the national news. I’ve wondered why they got so much media attention. I’ve also wondered what it would take to vote both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump off the island and to bring this terrible reality TV show to an abrupt conclusion. Below is how I imagine TV network executives, as they debate the cancellation of the Reality TV show, known as the 2016 presidential election. |
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| (I am a fly on the wall, watching the conversation and hoping that all of the fly swatters are well-hidden. The people gathered are: network executive, producer, scriptwriter, advertising sales manager, PR person for Clinton, PR person for Trump.)
Network executive: All right. We’re all together, and there are refreshments on the table. Make sure to help yourself. If you need serious libation, there are a few bottles of the good stuff available at a side table. Be sure to indulge. This can only help our conversation. (Everyone pours alcoholic beverages and then sits at the table.) Network executive: We are having a problem. A serious problem. The Finale Episode of the Presidential Election Reality TV show has encountered serious problems. Script writer, could you elaborate on this? Script writer: Yes. We have worked up several mock scripts and they have, somehow, been leaked to the campaigns. We are not sure of the source of the leak. It is a serious problem. We hear howling outside of our building every day and are afraid that we will be attacked by rabid mobs. In fact, we may be too late because a mob did attack one of our trailers. Trump PR person: Are you saying that Clinton supporters are infected with rabies? Clinton PR person: No, you moron. It’s Trump the Chump who has rabies. And he is a sexist pig. Trump PR person: You… you… Script writer: Stop ad libbing. Advertising sales manager: The toxic behavior of the candidates has increased demand for advertising time. Unfortunately, the Trump campaign has ignored our invoices, and we received an unsigned letter, explaining that the bills would not be paid. Trump and Clinton PR people: TOXIC BEHAVIOR! Not my candidate! Only that one! (they point at each other and grimace.) (The PR people lunge for each other and attempt to start fighting. Two security people rush to them and separate them and push them back in their chairs.) Trump PR person: You… you… dictator! This is what libtards do all of the time! They are repressing my voice! Clinton PR person: Only an idiot says “libtard.” And, speaking of “tard,” you turd, you would look fat and unappealing in a leotard. Trump PR person: Who is Leo? And who are you calling fat? Clinton PR person: If the shoe fits… Script writer: I hope that this is being recorded. This is good material. Really juicy. It will guarantee lots of advertising sales, if only the advertisers would pay for their slots. Producer: Are you saying that you want the finale episode to be aired? Script writer: Yes. This is good material, just like the Jerry Springer show. Producer: Angry mobs have already knocked down the trailer where Donald Trump’s makeup is stored. They were trying to find the potion that causes his skin to turn orange. We don’t have enough security. Script writer: I need another drink. Trump PR person: Clinton for Prison could be the next show. Clinton PR person: Get rid of Trump and his basket of deplorables in a new reality TV show. One deplorable is voted off of the island every week until they are all gone. Producer: OK, enough out of you two. Trump PR person: Hey, you gun-hating libtard! If brains were taxed, you’d get a rebate. Clinton PR person: Did they teach you to be a soulless, gun-toting hypocrite in the fascist re-education camp? Script writer: Wow! This is great! Way better than Jerry Springer! The more drinks I have, the better it sounds! (pours straight Russian vodka from a bottle with a picture of Vladimir Putin into a tall glass) Do you think of these insults yourselves or did you get them from a random insult generator? (the PR people glower at each other and say nothing.) |
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| Advertising sales manager: Where’s the fly swatter? I see a fly stuck to the wall.
(I abruptly depart before I get crushed by an fly swatter wielding advertising sales manager. Alas, I never find out if the Bad Reality TV show was canceled.) |
What – no Trump wine was being served?